Confidential Legal Advice

We provide confidential legal advice to male victims of domestic abuse and coercive control

What is domestic abuse?

Some domestic abuse is physical and involves violence, such as pushing, shoving, slapping, kicking, stabbing, hammer attacks, strangulation, cutting, rape, holding down, shouting and screaming at you, door slamming, throwing objects, smashing things.

Even the most unlikely men can secretly suffer from domestic violence and abuse in their homes, behind closed doors. However big or small, or smartly dressed, or cheerful a man could be hiding a dark secret, which is that his partner or spouse is abusing him every day. The abuser may be very petite or Amazonian, and may outwardly be the sweetest, most charming, charismatic or quiet, lovely person in public, but at home, in private they may be causing the most dreadful injuries and harm to their partner.

What is coercive control?

Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

This controlling behaviour is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive control is now a criminal offence. This has marked a huge step forward in tackling domestic abuse. It's important to make sure that everyone understands what it is.

Coercive control creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a victim’s life. It works to limit their human rights by depriving them of their liberty and reducing their ability for action. Coercive control is like being in invisible chains or being taken hostage. As one author says: “the victim becomes captive in an unreal world created by the abuser, entrapped in a world of confusion, contradiction and fear.”

How do you know if this is happening to you?

Some common examples of coercive behaviour are:

  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Depriving you of basic needs, such as food
  • Monitoring your time
  • Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware
  • Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep
  • Depriving you access to support services, such as medical services
  • Repeatedly putting you down, such as saying you’re worthless
  • Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you
  • Controlling your finances
  • Making threats or intimidating you

What you can and should do about it . . .

Firstly, you must make contact with someone who can help, without tipping off the abuser. If you or any member of your family or a friend's family is being abused physically and / or in a controlling relationship and needs help, email us by just clicking the envelope below:
Email us

We will then email you back with information about how we can help