Some domestic abuse is physical and involves violence, such as pushing, shoving, slapping, kicking, stabbing, hammer attacks, strangulation, cutting, rape, holding down, shouting and screaming at you, door slamming, throwing objects, smashing things.
Even the most unlikely men can secretly suffer from domestic violence and abuse in their homes, behind closed doors. However big or small, or smartly dressed, or cheerful a man could be hiding a dark secret, which is that his partner or spouse is abusing him every day. The abuser may be very petite or Amazonian, and may outwardly be the sweetest, most charming, charismatic or quiet, lovely person in public, but at home, in private they may be causing the most dreadful injuries and harm to their partner.
Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
This controlling behaviour is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.
Coercive control is now a criminal offence. This has marked a huge step forward in tackling domestic abuse. It's important to make sure that everyone understands what it is.
Coercive control creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a victim’s life. It works to limit their human rights by depriving them of their liberty and reducing their ability for action. Coercive control is like being in invisible chains or being taken hostage. As one author says: “the victim becomes captive in an unreal world created by the abuser, entrapped in a world of confusion, contradiction and fear.”
Some common examples of coercive behaviour are:
Firstly, you must make contact with someone who can help, without tipping off the abuser.
If you or any member of your family or a friend's family is being abused physically and / or in a controlling relationship and needs help, email us by just clicking the envelope below:
We will then email you back with information about how we can help